5 activities to help children deal with conflict
Almost 9 in 10 people said they have been asked to take on more responsibilities in their careers, without getting a pay rise.
70% of people said they would rather quit their jobs than ask for a pay rise to avoid conflict.
So why are we so bad at dealing with conflict? And how can we teach our children to feel confident in conflict resolution in the future?
It’s important to know that utilising a structured approach too dealing with conflict is never going to work. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, each situation or individual is going to have their own set of boundaries, experiences and express themselves differently. Although, it is apparent that communication, emotional awareness and empathy are crucial elements of conflict resolution that can lead to high-functioning and more satisfying relationships in all aspects of life.
So, how should we handle it?
1.Understanding
Does the child know what the conflict is? It’s vital to SAY what the problem is about, you’d be surprised by the amount of unnecessary conflicts have started by sheer misunderstanding or even better, not even knowing you’re in one.
ACTIVITY: Smile Tennis - A Empathy Exercise.
Ask children to sit in a circle. Draw a smiley face on a tennis ball. Similarly to pass the parcel, the children will pass the tennis ball around the circle until the music stops. The child that has the tennis ball gets to share with the class how they are feeling and show kindness to another.
This helps children figure out what the other child might want and how they might be feeling.
2.Control
How are the going to control the situation, their feelings and use their environment to be relaxed, mindful and brave?
ACTIVITY: LET LOOSE - An Emotional Literacy Exercise.
This is best done outside. Allow the children to scream as loud as they can. Run as fast as you can. Let them go crazy! Then when the whistle blows, sit down, relax and try a breathing technique. Repeat. Observe how long it takes for the children to settle when it’s time to relax - perhaps some need more practice than others.
3.Solutions
The conflict needs to be solved and they need to choose independently on a positive option that, in most cases, works for everyone.
ACTIVITY: MEMORY GAME - A Problem Solving Exercise.
Utilised cards with various emotions on them. Have two cards of the same emotion - just like snap. Lay the cards face down and ask children to find the pairs. This helps memory, problem solving and reflection on emotions.
4.A Safe Space
Children need to feel safe to express themselves, no judgment, no commanding and no time limits. Don’t rush them to say sorry, try redirecting their focus from “code red” - conflict can take time. Children need to feel safe to truely express themselves honestly.
ACTIVITY: CREATE A MINDFUL CORNER - Express Yourself
Discuss with children what they would like in their mindful space? A safe space where they can relax, breathe and make good choices. Discuss the senses with them;
Touch - Would they like soft pillows? Play-dough to squeeze?
Smell - A lavender diffuser?
Hear - Soft classical musical?
See - Calming images? Or suggestions of things to say during conflict?
Taste - Maybe a healthy snack? We all get hangry sometimes…
5.Strageties
Regularly scheduling time and space in the classroom can create positive habits of the mind. When we participate in activities that calm us, when times get tough, we can remember how to calm down and think clearly about the situation in front of us.
ACTIVITY:
Try breathing, exercise, painting, singing or other expressive activities to encourage mindfulness first thing in the morning routine.
That’s it, you can enjoy these in the classroom, suggest them to families or even take them in your own home!
